Friendship

When one does something that he/she isn’t proud of, it seems like the whole world comes crashing down and nothing is right nor will it ever get there. What’s worse is that control of the situation is completely lost and the world of the unknown is stepped into. I am one of those people. When I have no control over a situation and have to leave it in the hands of others, I feel helpless…and it’s not a good feeling.

I have come to the realization that I myself am one of those who, while not needing to have control of a situation necessarily, appreciates being able to help guide it or at least know what’s going on. I never have thought of myself as someone who has to control every little thing. I gave that up 10 years ago. However, now I find myself not knowing.

What I do know is that I have great friends that are very supportive, understanding, tolerant, and are able to help me when I need it. I also have friends that would do anything for me. While those who really know me know that while I say it’s all about me, it certainly isn’t. Those that know me know that my focus is on them…I put all I can into my friends because without them, the world would be lonely, cold, and unbearable. There have been times when I’ve been out with my friends where something would come our way that would benefit only one of us. Without thinking, I would push someone else towards whatever it was. I have always been very giving of my time, resources, etc. It’s a great feeling to be able to do so!!

While friendship is never guaranteed, it is with those I choose to be around. Regardless of what happens, I know that I can depend on those I call a friend without a doubt. I know if I were to call them and say I needed help, they’d be here. I have friends in various parts of the country and I know that I could call any of them and know that they would be here as soon as they could if not faster. That’s what is so great about friends.

At times, we can take our friends for granted. We overlook how important they are and how much they mean to us and how much they sacrifice for us. We get caught in a game of being comfortable and often times let our guards and manners down. So while we still call them friends, we’re not really upholding the sense of the word.

My friends are people that I know I can depend on and they know that they can depend on me. I have often had to get up in the middle of the night to talk to someone, go somewhere, or book a plane ticket. There are no questions asked. I have the best friends in the world. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for them.

I trust my friends to the end of the Earth. While I believe that they have the same trust in me, it’s hard to always keep that in mind. There are times when I need reassurance or times when I don’t necessarily believe that. It’s not that I truly believe that deep down, but things happen where I can’t help but question it. It’s my nature…I like knowing where I stand…black and white…no gray area. It’s hard to comprehend that sometimes because everyone works differently. I have had the fortune of knowing people that understand my personality. They can’t help but not to, I wear my emotions on my sleeve…be it good or bad, it’s the way it is.

I can’t help putting so much into my friends. It’s something that has to do with my need for intimacy and for my own sense that the other person knows how much I value him/her. I know that some consider it a weakness to admit one’s flaws, but I figure that we all have them, so why not?

My friends mean the world…no, the universe…to me. I hope that they all know that and never forget it. If they should, all they need to do is call me at 3 in the morning and they can be reminded when I fly out to them, listen to them, go to them, etc.

So again I say, when one does something that he/she isn’t proud of, it seems like the whole world comes crashing down and nothing is right nor will it ever get there. At least there are friends to help you get through it.